


forget about it, forget about her, forget about me

by glitzyena



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Arguing, Bad Decisions, Bad Ending, Bad Ideas, Break Up, Cheating, Drinking, F/F, Fighting, Heavy Angst, Inspired by the Ariana Grande song, Post-Break Up, Rebound, References to Addiction, References to Depression, Sad Ending, bad idea, it's like a half break up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27688031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitzyena/pseuds/glitzyena
Summary: Chaewon's too lost in her own thoughts, lost in sweetly sparkling liquid, to be able to let Minju down easily. It's a bad idea, she knows, to call Yena to help distract from the pain."Just say you love me. For real,"
Relationships: Choi Yena/Kim Chaewon (IZONE), Kim Chaewon (IZONE)/Kim Minju
Comments: 1
Kudos: 44





	forget about it, forget about her, forget about me

**Author's Note:**

> i had the idea long ago to write little drabbles for 2kim based off of ariana's thank u, next album because i just love it so much, but ig i never really got around to finishing any of them lol. i had a small bit of this in my drafts and got the sudden urge to finish it, so here we are! i'd really recommend listening to bad idea while reading this, it's all i listened to while writing it and it's a musical masterpiece. although this thing is short, i hope you enjoy none the less~
> 
> [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/glitzyena)  
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/glitzyena)

Chaewon doesn’t think she’s ever been simultaniously so drunk, while simultaneously being so frustratingly sober at the same time. 

Drunk because, well. The glass bottles littered on their living room floor should speak for themselves, more of them than Chaewon had ever intended, their potently saccharine smell pungent, permeating the room enough to make her eyes water. Cheap, yet palatable, she’d downed too many of them to count before she could even think, their sweet taste making it much too easy to forget what she was really doing, along with it becoming increasingly difficult to differentiate one bottle from the next as she continued on.

Sober, at the same time, because there’s so much adrenaline pumping thick through her veins, so much frustration and pent up anger bubbling and frothing beneath her skin, that her mind couldn’t be more clear. 

Chaewon could scream. She has been, for the past while, before Minju had stepped through the front door. Crumpled on the floor, nails digging into her skin to distract from a much larger, much more unattainable pain, breathing much too short and vision swimming like the drink in her hand sloshing around inside the bottle. Screaming until she rips her own throat raw, until her voice breaks out. 

God, _Minju._

Sweet, beautiful, addictive, maddening. 

Does that mean the alcohol or Minju? Maybe both. 

“You’re not even listening to me. You never fucking listen,” 

Minju’s words come with a bite, from where she’s stood by the doorframe. They’re cold, harsh, so unlike the way Chaewon was used to hear her speaking before. 

“And why should I,” Chaewon drawls in response, kicking her leg up on the armrest, lain on the couch like a cat stretching in the morning sun. “Nothing but-” she cuts herself off, allowing herself a moment or two to regather her thoughts, or rather to allow her brain to catch up with her lips. “Nothing but fucking- _bullshit_ comes out of that mouth anyway,” 

Chaewon knows she’s being unimaginably unfair, the soberness amidst her drunken state able to make that clear. But, she doesn’t think she particularly cares. 

When she’s not cooped up, swarmed by her own self-loathing and accompanied by cheap, tantalisingly sparkling liquid, Chaewon comes home late. Later and later with each night that passes. At first Minju would wait for her, but as time dragged on, she’d usually be asleep by the time Chaewon made it home.

Assuming she made it home by morning. 

That’s not how it’s supposed to go, it’s not how they’re supposed to work. They’re _together_ , they’ve been together for close to a year at this stage, it must be. Chaewon can’t recall the exact date. She doesn’t really want to. 

They’re on thin fucking ice, and she knows full well that Minju’s been tip-toeing around her like she’s a minefield. And yeah, maybe up until now, Chaewon’s been waiting for the moment that Minju will finally crack, will scream and affirm all of the horrible, vile, disgusting names that play inside of Chaewon’s head like a broken record.

Instead of looking offended, or hurt, Minju glares. “How can you say something like that? To me?” She asks, though Chaewon can tell that’s she’s not really interested in whatever answer she has to offer her. 

It’s dark outside, so late into the night that reality doesn’t seem quite right. The lights from the city pool inside the room lazily, like they had nowhere else to go, staining the furniture translucent hues of red and blue. They spill onto Minju’s skin in a way Chaewon used to spend hours admiring, late nights together on the couch, both of them half asleep with Chaewon tracing the outline of the colours on her arms, her face. She’d brush them through her hair, kiss them off her lips and taste them on her tongue. 

That was back when Chaewon was good for her. 

“You never talk to me!” The increase in the volume in Minju’s voice jolts Chaewon back to reality, her words sounding like they’re coming from underwater. “You never talk to me, I never know what’s going on inside your head! I never know if you’re- if you’re happy, if you’re sad, I never know if you’re doing _okay-_ ”

Chaewon clicks her tongue. There’s a vile taste in her mouth that she can’t get rid of, along with the sickening churning of her stomach. “You say it like that at this stage, you actually care,” her words have that same bite to them, completely irrational, but she really doesn’t care. Doesn’t care for much. 

Minju’s glare hardens. “I…” she takes in a breath. “I have always cared,” she points a finger at her. “So don’t you- you _dare_ try to pin this on me,” she still doesn’t break eye contact with her, stare so intense Chaewon would squirm under any other circumstance. “But you’re making it really hard for me to continue on caring,” 

“Oh?” Chaewon raises a brow, tone almost urging. This is what she’d wanted, this is what she’d wanted to hear. “And what are your implications there?”

Minju’s face becomes a little more expressionless at that, eyes emptying of whatever anger and emotion was spilling out of them earlier, and regarding Chaewon like she’s never even seen her before. Like a stranger she’d pass by on the street and not take another glance at. She does this, for a few moments, and it stings. 

It really does, it stings. 

Chaewon relishes in it.

Minju shakes her head, throwing up her hands and pushing her hair back from her forehead. “This is…” she lets out a slow exhale, not finishing her sentence. She’s tapping her finger insistently against her thigh, and Chaewon can tell she’s trying to keep her anger at bay, and that she’s only just about managing. She tells herself that she doesn’t know why she wants to push her over the edge. 

“No, go on,” she implores her. “You were going to say something, earlier. Say it,” she hates the way she sounds, but can’t bring herself to stop.

“Chaewon, I-”

“Just spit it out, come on,”

“Chaewon, fucking listen to yourself!” Minju is set off again, and something inside of Chaewon preens at the sight. Minju rubs at her face, in total disbelief. “This is- _none_ of this is a good idea, you-”

Chaewon scoffs. “A good idea?” She repeats mockingly, stalking towards her, and she sees Minju take a step back. Something inside of her, something sick, is soothed at the sight. The words inside her head, that worm their way beneath her skin and drive her fucking insane… at least they’re right. “How’s this for a bad idea then,” she breathes out, eye to eye with the girl in front of her. “You,” she jabs a finger into Minju’s chest, Minju physically recoiling at her touch. “And me,” she points to herself. “How about we take a little bit of time away,”

Minju bites at the inside of her cheek, like a reminder to herself to stay grounded. “What, you’re telling me to just leave? That’s how you’re gonna handle this?”

“Oh fuck off, Minju!” Chaewon exclaims with a short, humourless laugh, not bothering anymore to keep her voice down. “You’re not fucking stupid! Us, we haven’t been working for months!”

“That’s because you’re not trying!” Minju exclaims, voice rising to match Chaewon’s volume. “You’re never around, how the fuck are we supposed to work if I hardly ever even see you?” 

Chaewon narrows her eyes, and Minju holds her gaze. Chaewon hates that she has to look up at her, but she does her best not to let it show, holding her ground. “And do you ever think…” her voice is quieter now, almost a bit too quiet. Minju might’ve had to strain to hear her if they weren’t nose to nose. “Why I’m never around?” 

Minju doesn’t say anything, and she doesn’t waver in the slightest, a silent message for Chaewon to continue speaking.

Chaewon says it slowly, carefully, so that Minju gets the message loud and clear. 

“I don’t want to be around you,” 

It’s a lie. It’s a big, fat lie, but Chaewon spews it out because that’s the sort of mood she’s telling herself she’s in right now.

Hurt flashes in Minju’s eyes. “You’re-” she shakes her head insistently. “No, no. You’re wrong,” her tone isn’t as confident as before.

“Oh, get real!” Chaewon’s yelling too loud, much too loud for such an hour, and she doesn’t doubt they’ll get complaints. Her eyes are blown wide, adrenaline practically buzzing beneath her skin like an electrical current. “This is reality we’re in, Minju,” her fingertips are quivering at her sides. “Like, look at me, now,”

Minju looks at her. She’s slowly cracking, looking more and more hurt as the seconds pass by, each blow that Chaewon’s delivering like a fist squeezing her heart. Chaewon’s got her heart in her grip, and she’s squeezing until it can’t function. 

“Just say you love me. For real,” 

She says it like there’s fact behind her words. Like it’s obvious that Minju won’t be able to say it, but deep down, she hopes that Minju will persist. That she’ll scoff at her words, exclaim how ridiculous she’s being, that this is just something they need to work around, because Minju is _always_ so sweet, and hard-working and kind and loyal and she’s never given up on her before-

But Minju’s jaw just goes slack.

She stands there, in front of her, hands limp by her sides and something miserable painted on her features.

Along with all those other things, Minju has never been a liar. Not like Chaewon.

Chaewon wants to be able to hide her disappointment, but it’s near impossible. She presses her lips together and looks down at her shoes, finally breaking their gaze and letting out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. 

“You’re forcing this onto me,”

In any other situation, Chaewon would smile. Minju truly does have her all figured out.

“You…” Minju sounds well and truly disgusted. “You want me to say it. You want me to end things with you. Be-because,” her words become thicker. “You’re- you can’t even bring yourself to say it, so you’re making me do it?” 

Minju really knows her well.

The younger girl turns around sharply, and Chaewon sees her patting herself down, presumably in search of keys. 

_She’s leaving. She’s gone, now._

“I’m gonna…” she rustles through the pockets of her coat hung by the door, a translucent sheen that’s clinging to the whites of her eyes sucking in the city lights that stream in from the window. She mumbles incoherently, something about staying over at Yuri’s, something about how she can’t handle this right now. 

Chaewon is just as heartbroken as she is relieved. It’s a funny combination of emotions, she thinks. All that she knows is that it stings. It’s smarting, burning her skin and leaving her throat dry. 

Minju turns to look at her, and she just looks… confused. “I don’t…” her voice breaks a little. “I don’t even know what you’re thinking? Not even now?” 

Chaewon supposes it’s one final prompt for her to speak what’s on her mind, for her to just spill everything that’s going on inside her head. 

And Minju would help her, Chaewon knows she would. That’s the kind of person she is, even if perhaps now, she doesn’t love her as much as she used to, she’d help Chaewon pick up the broken pieces of herself, and slot them back together again. Her eyes bore into Chaewon’s own, like she’s still clinging on to a sliver of hope that perhaps she’d ask her to stay.

But Chaewon is harsh, and- and she’s mean and she’s spiteful. And of course, she wouldn’t be able to let her down easy. Of course, she’d have to go and break her like this. Of course, she’d have to take Minju’s heart in her grasp, puncture it with nails until it deflates like a balloon, and grind it beneath her heel into the dirt. 

Of course, if Minju were to go, Chaewon would see her off like this.

And then, that same anger is smeared across Minju’s pretty, delicate features again. She spits a curse at her, sounding broken even so, and Chaewon pretends not to notice the way her fingertips are shaking. 

And then, the front door is shut, and Chaewon’s left alone in the resounding silence. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She doesn’t have any idea what time it is. She doesn’t fucking care anymore. 

The bottles strewn around the room turned into shards at some point, the remains of the liquid that had clung onto the glass’ interior soaking into the carpet. That contrastingly sweet yet potent aroma still hangs thick and heavy, bordering on overbearing, and Chaewon tells herself it’s the reason that her eyes are watering, that she’s stooped over with breaths that are too short, and that she’s shifting in and out of seeing double. 

She’d… let Minju go. Maybe it wasn’t official, because she’d been too much of a coward to speak up, and Minju wasn’t going to give her the luxury of saying it herself, but it’s- it’s so fucking obvious. Minju isn’t here. Minju isn’t with her, Minju is gone. 

This is what Chaewon had intended, but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less. 

She resists the urge to laugh. It’s so pathetic, this entire situation. 

She forces herself to stand up straighter, tipping her head back to stare up at the ceiling. She thinks she’s smiling, she’s not quite sure. She’s not happy, not in the slightest, but she’s smiling. 

_What the fuck._

A laugh forces its way out of her lungs. It burns.

She kind of hates herself. 

She looks down at her phone in her hand, open with her list of contacts bright and bold on the screen. There’s one name in particular, that shows up a couple times in red as a missed call.

 _Fuck it._ Chaewon thinks to herself. The night can’t get much worse than it already is, and if it’s going to insist on dragging out as long as it is, she might as well find a way to distract herself from the pain.

It’s a bad idea. It’s such a fucking shit idea, but it seems to fit right into place along with the way she’s acted today. She presses on the name with her thumb, sitting down on the couch and biting at a hangnail as the phone begins to ring.

She knows it’s ridiculous, calling at an hour like this. But she knows that she won’t be turned down. She’s taking advantage of that, she’s fully aware, but her mind is just this pounding, drunken, self-loathing mess that she can’t bring herself to give a shit. 

The phone stops ringing, static filling Chaewon’s ear, and she hears the soft sound of rustling sheets before a voice fills the receiver.

“Chaewon-ah?” Yena’s words are gravelly, thick with sleep. “Is everything okay? It’s-”

“Yena-unnie?” Chaewon’s tone comes out lower, just subconsciously. More sultry. 

It’s what, nearing in on three a.m? Chaewon’s sure that Yena will get the picture. 

“Yeah?”

Chaewon doesn’t bother beating around the bush. “Can you… can you come over?” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yena kisses her with greed. 

Chaewon had tugged her inside her flat by the sleeve of her jacket the moment she’d appeared at her front door, pointedly rushing her through the hallway and ignoring the way Yena peered, curious, into the mess of the living room as they walked by. Chaewon doesn’t doubt that Yena can smell it, the drink, but her reoccurring theme for the night is that she just doesn’t care.

She kisses her the moment they step into Chaewon’s room, the older girl practically melting into her touch, sweet and pliant and easy to control in a way that Chaewon doesn’t think she’s experienced in a long time. 

Yena has a… how would Chaewon put it. A mild obsession with her, perhaps.

It’s obvious. Everyone knows about it, fuck, even Minju had been weary of her whenever she was around. But, Yena is humane, too sweet for it to get in the way of everything, so no matter how many times Chaewon would catch her staring from across the room, she wouldn’t act on it. 

Chaewon knows Yena isn’t stupid. It’s plainly obvious that she’s upset, her eyes are red, puffed, and Yena can probably taste the champagne on her tongue. But, she also knows that Yena won’t turn an opportunity like this down. Because she’s humane, meaning she’s human. And all humans give into temptation, eventually.

So, even though she can see Chaewon’s an emotional mess, even though she’s probably pieced together that something has happened between her and Minju, she still kisses her greedy.

They hadn’t even made it past the door to Chaewon’s room, Yena holding onto her waist with Chaewon’s back against the doorframe. Chaewon clings onto her desperately, hands latching onto her and almost refusing to let go. It’s much too easy to lose herself in the sensations, and her pain is slowly being numbed out by the sheer feeling of _want_ that overcomes her. 

Yena doesn’t kiss like Minju does, Chaewon hadn’t expected her to. While Minju always treated her with care, touching her like she’s made of something delicate, Yena is urgent. She’s not stalling, or wasting time, she’s kissing Chaewon deep and driving her to the brink of madness.

The pain is still very much there. It’s numbed, but it’s not gone. So, she threads her fingers into the dark locks of Yena’s hair, and pulls her closer still, her heart thundering in her chest and stomach swooping.

“Taste nice,” is what Chaewon thinks Yena murmurs, her voice is so low and Chaewon’s thoughts so sluggish she only just about hears her. Those two words spoken against her lips are enough to send shivers down Chaewon’s spine, an almost pleasing sensation that serves as a nice distraction from the much bleaker picture. “Champagne?”

“Mmh,” Chaewon just about manages to hum out a reply, kind of wishing she’d stop talking as she tugs her back in again by the collar of her jacket. 

But that’s one of the things about Yena. She talks. Minju was quieter.

Chaewon shakes her head. Not thinking about Minju now.

“Can I ask the obvious?” Yena’s voice is still low, and Chaewon really wishes she hadn’t heard it. 

So, she shakes her head, insistent, eyes still trained on Yena’s lips, and just as she’d expected, Yena doesn’t put up a fight. 

Yena’s a good person, Chaewon’s known her long enough to know that. She must just have a habit of bringing out the worst in people. 

Mixing in with the taste of champagne that Yena just doesn’t seem able to kiss way, is something salty, and when it’s accompanied by her breath stuttering, she realises that it’s all just that bit too much. She freezes over, all of a sudden, muscles tensing up beneath her skin, and feels that familiar sting behind her eyes. Her eyes feel heavy, with the amount of tears she’s she’d tonight, and maybe having someone this close, someone that isn’t Minju, is too much for her right now. 

Yena must sense it, because she pulls away, taking her hands off of Chaewon’s waist, and at the loss of her touch Chaewon finds herself whining. 

It’s so confusing. It’s overwhelming to have Yena here, in front of her, touching her, but the moment she takes her hands off of her, it’s like’s stabbing a knife into Chaewon’s side. She shakes her head mindlessly, mumbling something incoherent under her breath, curling her fingers around Yena’s collar again, but the girl won’t budge. 

It’s like having a burn. You run it under cold water and you feel fine, but as soon as you take it out, that smarting, burning sensation comes rushing back. 

Chaewon tries to tug her back in again, not doing a good enough job this time at concealing the sob that slips past her lips. 

Yena looks at her sadly, and Chaewon hates it. This isn’t how she’s planned for this to go, this isn’t what was supposed to happen. Everything slips out of her control, she’s got control over nothing and it’s driving her fucking insane. 

“I’m sorry,” Yena mumbles, taking a hold of Chaewon’s wrists and peeling her touch off of her, still holding onto them between them both. “I got caught up in-” she clears her throat, looking away. “-in… everything,” her voice is small. 

Chaewon doesn’t respond. Can’t bring herself to. 

Gently, in a much too familiar manner, Yena guides her over to her bed, sitting her down, still holding onto her wrists, but nothing more.

Chaewon hangs her head shamefully, short hair not doing much to hide her face, but Yena tentatively brushes it back regardless. Her shoulders shudder, from time to time, with irregular breaths, and Yena draws slow circles into her skin with her thumb. 

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. Her voice isn’t as low anymore. “I saw you were upset, I don’t know why I didn’t…” she trails off, like her train of thought has moved on elsewhere. “No, nevermind. I do know. It’s-” she cuts herself off with a dry, humourless laugh. “It’s so obvious, isn’t it,” 

Yena doesn’t sound resentful towards her. Why doesn’t she, after Chaewon so blatantly, shamelessly called her over like this? 

"It is," Chaewon's tone is scratchy. "That's why I called you," she wipes at her cheek with her knuckles, not able to bring herself to even look at her. “I- _God_ , I’m so fucking…” her brain can’t even form a coherent sentence, so she gives up halfway through in favour of murmuring “I’m sorry,” her eyes sting again, and it’s so exhausting, both physically and mentally. “I’m so sorry. I’ve dragged you into this now when you had nothing to do with anything in the first place,” maybe she’s sobered up a little, maybe she hasn’t. 

This night has been so long, and she just wants it to be over. She just wants everything to be over. 

“I can stay or I can go,” Yena says softly. “It’s your choice. If you need help...”

She’s so sweet. She’s so sweet and she’s so selfless and Chaewon is greedy, even after everything she’s done to her. “Can you… stay?” she hates how small her voice sounds. Hates a lot of other things. She takes in another shuddering breath. “Can’t be alone right now. I promise I won’t try anything, I just-”

“Hey, whoa,” Yena places her hands on her shoulders, getting her to look at her. “We both… neither of us did anything good. You weren’t in your right state of mind, don’t beat yourself up,” she quirks her lips, and even though it’s a little watery, Chaewon appreciates the gesture. “Emotions are… scary,”

 _Tell me about it,_ Chaewon thinks to herself. “I’m only temporary,” she utters, voice quiet and still dry. “Yet you’re still staying?” 

Yena moves to lie down next to her, both of them on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. Out of the corner of her eye, Chaewon sees her smile bitterly. “I’m still greedy,” she admits. She doesn’t expand on it anymore than that, and Chaewon thinks that that could mean lots of things, but she decides not to push it. She’s pushed enough boundaries tonight as it is. 

“She’s gone,” it doesn’t come out as anything more than a whisper. “I kept hacking away at her. On and on an on until she cracked. And now she’s gone. I made her leave,” 

“Hey,” Yena shifts to that she’s looking at her head on, and Chaewon responds in kind. “I don’t know what happened, but you’ve had it rough today,” she moves a couple strands away from Chaewon’s face again. “Sleep, alright? You look exhausted,” 

Chaewon doesn’t really need much persuasion. It takes her a while, perhaps a couple more hours or so, long after Yena herself has fallen into a slumber, but eventually she manages to slip into a doze. 

It feels like she’ll never wake up.

Chaewon doesn’t really want to. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments are always appreciated uwu. if i don't post anything before the seventh, remember to stream panorama soty and one reeler album of the year for our girlies. also, come cry with me over on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/glitzyena)  
> over these concept pictures they're dropping atm because they look so gorgeous help?????  
> thank you again anyways lol, i'll see you soon! 
> 
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/glitzyena)


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